Hello again folks,
I know it has been a quiet year on the blog front. This year has just flew by, and it is not from a lack of being busy. I have been insanely busy; building things, creating things, studying things, and most of all doing a little self care. Like I said in my last post, I came “out” (it’s still ongoing, most just aren’t caring much anymore) of the pandemic really burnt out. I’m still pretty burnt out if I’m being honest. Struggling with various aspects of myself, and tired a lot. Just really tired, but also with little glimmers of light once in a while. Like this little bit of writing here, and probably my last for the year. I can’t believe the end of this week starts December already. Yeesh.
I should note that this post is more a stream of consciousness than anything, you’ve been warned. I might wander in circles a bit.
I’m working away on the animism manuscript, and it it probably 80% or so done. At least with the current draft. Still a bit to go, but probably closer to done than not. Yes, I decided to keep it as a manuscript, as I continued to look at it. I think it would be more work to convert it to blog form than it would be to just finish the damn thing. The real work comes after the writing of course, as I’m still not sure how I am going to publish it. Cheapest route would be self-pub through Amazon, but I already have a lot of deals with that particular devil. I’m thinking of going through a local bookstore, but that brings an added cost. I’m just not sure at this time if that is a viable option, and/or if this kind of book would have enough interest to fund a campaign (Indiegogo/Kickstart, etc.) We will see I guess.
This year has been one for reevaluation and reworking, for sure. In my crafting and smithing journey, I find myself more and more drawn to armor-smithing, and I’ve been dabbling there for sure. Not much to show for it just yet. With the burn out and associated mental ailments, it’s been tough to find things that ignite my spirit, and this is one of those things. Again, no idea where this takes me, but it is nice to find something that actually brings motivation, and joy, along with it. It’s funny, because crude attempts at armor were one of those things that really brought me into smithing. It’s amusing to me how things come full circle sometimes.
I’m looking out at the snow covered conifers in my yard, and it brings me a certain kind of peace. A restful kind of peace, as the land settles in for the winter nap. I wish I could settle in for long winter nap, but alas, there is the day job and the ever present demands of our economic system. Work. Produce. Wake up and make the money. Maybe bears have a better idea, with a long, warm cuddly hibernation. As an adult, sometimes you look back at the idea of the “winter break” you got in school with a certain sense of nostalgia.
It makes me think of how we structure time and the seasons. I’ve long just based my personal and spiritual calendar around the solstices, equinoxes, and the turns of the moon. It’s the nature based way I structure time. I always struggle with where to put the beginning and end points though. In the West, the New Year is at the end of December. Is the winter solstice point zero? That would make sense with the summer solstice as midpoint in the year. Has a good symmetry to it. But the start could also be at the vernal equinox, when life begins to start moving again in the spring. I like the romance of the start and middle of the year in spring and fall, my two favorite seasons. Winter gets a third, and summer dead last. Sorry summer, but long hot days just are not my favorite thing.
Lastly, but certainly not last, that brings me to thoughts about my spirituality. That has certainly been in flux this whole year, flittering about like a barn swallow. Along with the seasons, I’ve just spent a lot of time rethinking things this year, what works, and what isn’t. Many books were donated this year, and I have been rearranging my spaces and my beliefs. I don’t think too many major things have changed, but priorities, energies, and focus most certainly have. Some shrines get way less attention than before, others get more. Even the way I build shrines and sacred places have changed, and I don’t see that process slowing down anytime soon. Sometimes you have to take the time for a good, hard look at your ideas and beliefs.
I think that is where I will leave this update for now.
As always,
Thanks for reading,
The Thought Forge 