Reflections and Initiations

I just noticed with my last post that this blog is coming up on 100 posts. That is really odd for me to think about. This blog started back in 2011, when I was a strapping young man just out of college. I had big ideas, and I was going to change the world!

Then life happened….

As part of my personal reflection, I have been going back through this blog, revisiting my old thoughts and posts. A lot has changed since this blog first began. I got married, I got a house, I lost my mom. Those are the big ones. Spiritually, I have considered a lot of new ideas, and thrown plenty of old ones out. I have learned, grown, and taken a few steps forward, and a few steps back.

All reminiscing aside, I have been very reflective lately. About many things. To start with, 100 posts. At an average of a thousand words a piece, this blog is probably around 100,000 words, more or less. Now as a writer, I realize that is not a lot. That is only about half my annual word count. But its a big deal to me. Besides, if you think about it, 100,000 words is more than enough for a decent sized book.

Which is one of my projects for this year. I want to get started on that book. No, I’m not going to just recycle my blogs into a book. That is lazy, and insulting to my integrity as a writer. There is plenty of good material in my blogs, and elsewhere, and I am going to distill it all down, recycle it, and see what comes out. I have no idea what the final project may look like. In a way, it will be like a long meditation on where I came from and where I am going.

So where I am going? There is quite a bit of new material on the way. Currently, my notes alone are enough to fill up two months worth of weekly posts, and I am just getting started. There is still plenty of digesting to do, and new resources are consistently popping out of the woodwork.

As far as my spiritual path goes, I definitely get the feeling I have been led to this point. Now that all my confirmations are in place, I think I can say with confidence that I have/am going through an initiation. It is something I am still reluctant to admit. Yet, all signs point to yes. I am still not sure what I am being initiated into, but that is where the spirits are leading me.

Which brings me to the story. I have been doing some journey work to help make sense of everything that is going on. The results have been interesting to say the least. I will start with the first.

I took a doe this year, so I went about the work to make sure it rejoins the cycle of renewal. I followed the doe through the woods, and came to a grove. In the centered of the grove, was two large, and rather strange trees. Yet, as I came closer to them, I realized they were not trees, but old and moss covered antlers. I was standing on the head of a giant deer.

The giant deer was an ancient ancestor, a guardian of deer-kind. The doe pranced joyfully about the grove. The great deer spoke, spoke to my very soul. The voice resonated, echoed, deep with tones of time. The message was that, I owed the great deer a debt. I had to pay a price for the doe I had slain, that because I had taken one under its care, I now owed the great deer a favor.

The big one neglected to say what that favor might be. A bit of a tricky place if you ask me.

In addition, the little doe now is a spirit I work with. I wonder if working with her is part of working off my debt? I am not certain at this point.

I spoke with Skadi after this event, and she said the implications are immense. Basically, if I want to work with other animal spirits, I may have to hunt them. Oh….

That was the first notable journey. The second, started with me launching to the top of a great tree. I launched out the top, and fell down upon a spiked branch, and there I was impaled. As this is not a terribly normal, nor comfortable position, it was a bit shocking. Skadi was sitting on a branch near to me. She asked; “Have you figured it out yet?”

On another branch, dangling his feet, sat an old man. He asked if I had figured it out yet.

On several branches below me, sat others. They also asked if I had figured it out yet.

Now, I know what you are thinking, but it wasn’t who you think. It was not Odin. It was Väinämöinen. It came as a bit of a shock.

Skadi then informed me that I would be working and traveling with the old man for a while. The long and short of it is that he had things to teach me that Skadi couldn’t. I still have my obligations to her, and plenty of work to do there. But now, it seems I am getting more homework as well.

It is rather mind-boggling. The Kalevala, and other Finnish sources, have been on my reading list for some time. It is difficult to see these things as coincidence. Why would this old man come to me just as I start my readings of his stories.

Sometimes all I can do is shake my head at the strange webs I find myself in.

Anywho, plenty more to come!

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About Nicholas Haney

I am a writer, author, hunter, craftsman, and student of anthropology/archaeology. View all posts by Nicholas Haney

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