Concerning Initiations, Part 2

Alright, so here is an update on this topic. I have had one blind reading so far, and a noted lack of sleep at the current moment. In some way, I was really hoping the reading would show I was full of shit. That this was all in my head, wishful thinking, or what have you.

The results were quite the opposite. While the reader and I share very different paths and philosophies, he compared it to attaining the 2nd Degree in his tradition. While I don’t share the same tradition, I am not even sure I have what might be called a tradition. I’ll come back to that.

As my reader put it, I have learned about the tools, now I need to find out if I know how to use them. I might be butchering the metaphor, but he said it would be something like having my altar/tools scattered in a dark cave with a monster coming to eat me. In short, I am going to find out if I can use what I have learned.

Which is something I have been thinking about lately. How can I put what I have learned so far to work? I am still working on that bit.

Coming back to the “tradition” bit, so far, I have been mostly spirit taught. As I’ve talked before, I really don’t have much of a relationship with the gods. That is not something that comes easy to me. As far as my own path goes, it is mostly defined by my ancestors, and the spirits I work with. The ancestors are pretty much the foundation and the center of my practice, and the spirits are a close second.

As such, driven by my ancestors, my path roams through the spheres of animism, heathenism, paganism, shamanism, folklore, anthropology and other spheres as well. At the same time, I don’t really claim myself to be any of these things. I don’t really consider myself a heathen except in the broad sense, same with pagan. Part of that depends on how you defines those thing, of course. The point is, there is not ONE that fits perfectly. In some way, my path is what I make it. Also, I am still walking it, and that is a journey of discovery in an of itself. In some way, it is MY path, and I alone walk it.

Then there are the dreams. I have not been sleeping well, and the dreams have been part of that. I have no real experience with anything dream related. Generally, I sleep pretty well, and if I dream, it is not something I remember. That is not been the case the last couple of weeks. I am having a lot of dreams. Some are weird and nonsensical. Some might have meaning. I have no real idea. The only thing I know is that I am really tired most days. Really, very tired.

I have been thinking about taking a break from this blog for a bit. I have been being led/pushed in a few different directions lately. It has led me to really rethink some things I believe. I need some time to process, and a weekly blog isn’t receptive to that.

Yet, I haven’t made up my mind just yet. So until next week!


About Nicholas Haney

I am a writer, author, hunter, craftsman, and student of anthropology/archaeology. View all posts by Nicholas Haney

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